Sitting on our couch in Singapore, I lamented that life was just plain overwhelming. Too much of it felt out of my ability – a husband who traveled a lot, the loneliness of moving away from good friends, an allergy problem that worsened by the day, and two young children to homeschool. I cried out to God on that couch, “Why can’t you just make it easier??”
And His clear response to me was, “What you’re really saying is, ‘I don’t want to have to need you this much.’”
It was true, as God’s words always are. I am hard wired for self-sufficiency. I would rather plow through on my own strength than ask for help. I want life to stay manageable. Oh, of course, I’ll always need God. But I don’t want to be needy, and I was.
He then reminded me of Isaiah 58:11, “The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
The promise in this verse is that He will water the dry ground of our souls. The problem comes in the fact that I have to be the one to go to the well for water, and I’m not always inclined to go.
I want the garden of my soul to be an easy one to tend – you know, the occasional watering, sun, a little food. In times of trial and stress, though, my soul dries up more quickly. I’m in a time like that myself right now, as we continue to transition to a new location and role, and I find I need to hear His voice more often.
It’s tiring, this going back again and again. I don’t like feeling weak and needy. I want it to be easier, but I know that His way is better. So I have to go daily, hourly, moment-by-moment even, for what I need to sustain me in this season.
In hard times, God’s resources are just as abundant as in easy times. He is glad to provide all we need to not only get through, but to thrive. Our job then is to humble ourselves, pick up our buckets, and go to the well, as often as it takes.
What about you? What keeps you from going to the well?
Gina and her husband, Erik, have served with Cru for more than 15 years, 13 of which were spent overseas. They recently returned to the U.S. with their two kids, and serve now with Global Leadership. Gina enjoys writing, speaking, and coaching other women, particularly in issues surrounding transition and living wholeheartedly. You will love her blog, The View from Here. Friend her on Facebook.